UPDATE: This is an April Fools’ Day joke – please do not contact us to order your asshat.
Finally, your cyber security woes can be solved fashionably with the latest product from Seguro Ltd, the Active Security Shield Hat.
Not only does this highly desirable piece of headwear look great, it sports a discrete active signal blocker and an aluminium lining (using the highest quality supermarket foil) to protect your gray matter from wifi signals, Havana syndrome, 5G and alien mind-control.
The signal jammer mode can be reconfigured modes to take your headgear from defensive to offensive capabilities such as launching attacker-in-the-middle attacks (not MIM – this is unisex apparel) and is also available in highly offensive colours, including fuscia, neon-green and fluroescent orange.
Additional advance features include: USB charging ports, upgradable antennas and machine washable: